Well in the age of technology and being home 24/7, I’ve been in an online relationship. But not just online relationship where we would FaceTime … it was what I now call a snapchat relationship because we would mostly text on Snapchat. No social interaction and no phone calls. Me and this guy started dating days before the “corona virus” school shut down.

I saw it coming. Stupid gut feeling. He broke up with me.

We we're basically only talking via snap chat. What’s kinda funny Is that he thought I would be mad. Me mad, over a snap chat relationship. Yes i’m bummed… I mean who wouldn’t be. I think what he didn't get was that if someone doesn’t what to be with me, why should I waste my time and energy on them. I mean we got in a fight the night before and I even thought that was the reason for the “break up”. I had said some wrong things he continued to tell me I was wrong and selfish in the morning. Via a snap chat conversion I was trying to say I was wrong and he continued to tell me I was wrong and should be ashamed in a rude way… huh… anyway so we were just not communicating that good all day and honestly he said some things he could not unsay to me. Maybe I did the same for him. I thought about breaking it off, but what would be the point? We are in quarantine and aren’t seeing each other anyway, we basically only communicate threw snapchat and I didn’t want to be the girl to break in off multiple times and get back together again and again. (I broke up with him a few days into dating because it became really awkward and I just missed being his friends if that makes any sense) He was being so weird tho, so I texted him saying “ just say it” and he was being so weird…. I new it. That’s when he texted me that we should break up. Honestly I feel like I learned a lot even from being together in quarantine. I obviously was not what he was looking for and that’s ok. I said always say this and it’s worth saying again. There are 3 answer’s to every question: its a yes, your not ready, or something better is coming. So looking at it like that, I’m doing fine. I feel like he kinda was not ready for the commintment, I’m ready for in a relationship and that’s ok. It’s weird because a lot of people feel like crap after a break up. thinking “ why am I not good enough’’ or ‘‘ what did I do”. But I’m low key thinking about bettering myself and getting all my work done instead of staring at my phone waiting to have small talk over snapchat. That is another reason I did not want to end it, because it would have to be over snapchat. He made a lot of excuse’s to talk on the phone or FaceTime which I get it, but like it made it harder to connect and impossible to break up without doing it on snapchat and being very very cliche’ 21 century teen movie. Idk about anyone else but change is apart of life and the more your comfortable with it in all aspects of your life the more you will be able to grow and change into your best self. So if change wants to happened who am I to pissed, I just rather let it happen.

I genuinely hope we can be friends and their’s no hard feelings on my end.

Basically that’s the new thing that happened last week in my world. I really didn’t want to write about this because I felt like its a bit invasive for him. But there is something to be said about documenting how you feel at certain times.

dress: old Juicy Contour