Today I’ve been thinking a lot about the assumptions and stories we create in our heads. A lot of assumptions are what we think others’ intentions and thoughts are. But we can never really know what someone else is thinking.

So why do we put ourselves through this?

Everyone’s reasons are different, but one reason I make assumptions is that I want to know the full story and have full knowledge of what’s going on. It feels like we have to tell ourselves realistic stories so that we feel we have a somewhat proper hold on life situations.

The thing about assumptions is that we are assuming what someone else is thinking or feeling. I watched this really great TED talk a few months ago called Own your behaviors, master your communication, Determine your success by Lousie Events

In this TED talk, we are presented with five chairs that represent choices in our thought processes. There is an animal, a color, and a word associated with each chair.

When we make uneducated assumptions we often end up in the red or yellow chair. Red represents being on the defensive, judging others, and often is associated with anger. Yellow represents self-doubt and the way we as humans often judge ourselves and doubt our intuition.

When we take a step back and observe the situation, giving time to think through all the possibilities, we are now sitting in the green chair. This is called the waiting chair, where we are at our most conscious. This is when we turn inward to explore the questions of “what am I thinking?”, and “what am I telling myself?”

Blue represents detection, an inverted self-awareness is present in this chair, and it allows us to examine our behaviors under a microscope. This chair represents honesty, boundaries, and holding onto our personal power, rather than giving it away as we do in the red and yellow chairs.

The last chair is represented by the color purple and the giraffe. This is important because giraffes have the largest heart and longest neck of all land animals. This chair allows us to have empathy and love for others and gives us the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and thought process. This chair allows us to embrace diversity, foreign ideas, and tolerance.

What do all these colors and animals have to do with assumptions? The way we approach a situation will often determine relationships and everyday interactions. The yellow and red chairs are based on narrow-minded assumptions that put us in a negative state before we even know the whole picture.

By changing our first thought to be one of curiosity rather than anger or self-doubt, we make room to grow and learn from people and situations. The first uneducated thought we have is often not based on reality, and therefore can lead to conflict and negative misunderstandings. Being open-minded and curious is so important for us to understand others and the world around us. The color lens and perspective we choose to see the world through shapes our reality and on a macro level our happiness.

matching set: old Zara/ shoes:old Adidas/ earrings: old Nordstrom Rack